


dreaming about the things that we could be

by Miyukitty



Series: SASOikawa 2017 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - His Dark Materials Fusion, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Daemon Feels, Daemon Touching, Deer Lore, Illustrations, M/M, Not Really Character Death, SASO 2017, Short One Shot, Soul Bond, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 06:51:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11526840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miyukitty/pseuds/Miyukitty
Summary: His Dark Materials AU. Written for FST prompt:Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep/ Dreaming about the things that we could be





	dreaming about the things that we could be

**Author's Note:**

> the HDM AU I revisit every SASO year, which is basically: iwachan and oikawa as asriel and marisa, kageyama and hinata as lyra and will, nobody gets a happy ending but at least they love each other :,) the artwork is mine from last year. 
> 
> there are mentions of religion and allusions to canon events in the amber spyglass, but not specific endgame spoilers and you probably don't need book knowledge to follow this. also uhh it's not exactly a happy ending but this is probably up for interpretation

   
"I'm going to do it, Hajime."

  
  
Tooru's gloved hands were held up to the clear Svalbard sky, fingers pressed together like a window framing the vivid colors of the Aurora Borealis.

  
  
The arctic air was bitingly cold, and even the small amount of his face that wasn't covered by his furred hood and scarf felt chapped and raw from the wind. Hajime barely felt it. He was transfixed by the sight of Tooru silhouetted against the white snow and the northern lights. His hands trembled for reasons other than the chill.

  
  
In this moment, Tooru was as beautiful as he was terrifying.

  
  
Hajime felt his reindeer daemon lean against his side. Her familiar bulk was a comforting pillar. He steadied himself against her, heart thudding too fast, too heavy against his ribs. They were on the brink of something larger than themselves. They were going to change the world.

 

This world, and the one beyond it.

  
  
"If anyone can do it, it would be you," Hajime said softly, voice lost to the wind.

  
  
He wasn't sure if Tooru heard him, but his daemon did. The peacock tilted his head, glittering eyes studying Hajime directly. He knew well the intensity of that stare. He swallowed.

  
  
It was uncommon for a man to have a male daemon, but not unheard of. His own daemon was female, though her antlers were misleading to those who didn’t know better. But Hajime had never questioned what it was that made Tooru different, not since the day he met Tooru and his capricious little daemon that refused to settle, forms as mercurial as his moods.

 

He would never forget the brilliance of Tooru's anger and pride the day they were caught in a street fight they could not win. His peacock's glorious plumage spilled out in full display for the first time and took his breath away. It still did now. Hajime's reindeer shielded them, ever the protector, and they were left lying in a gutter with bloody noses and bruised ribs and a friendship that would never be shaken. Neither of their daemons took another form after that. And they were never apart for long, as though they were all four fragments of the same broken soul drawn back into a familiar orbit.

  
  
Hajime's boots crunched through the snow as he stepped forward. He knelt beside Tooru, and Hajime's palm settled, heavy and warm, on his daemon. 

  
  
The peacock half-closed his eyes, permitting the intimate touch. Tooru's breath hitched in his throat as the phantom sensation shuddered down his spine.

  
  
"I-Iwa-chan," he stammered, glancing down with wide, startled eyes. Suddenly he looked more like the boy he'd been when Hajime met him. They both carried the weight of the world, now.

  
  
Hajime huffed a laugh. His breath crystallized in a wisp of white, stolen by the wind as soon as it escaped his chapped lips.

  
  
"You're going to tear open the sky, Tooru. You're going to find the kingdom of the authority and take it apart, kings and angels and gods and all who stand in your way. Nothing can stop you," Hajime murmured, running his frostbitten fingers down the smooth plumage of the peacock, and delighting in the way both the daemon and Tooru shivered.

  
  
" _Us,_ " Tooru breathed, his gaze unbearably fond as he watched Hajime's hands on his daemon. "Nothing can stop _us_."

  
  
_That goes without saying,_ Hajime thought, as he watched his reindeer move to Tooru's side, felt Tooru's fingers curl around the velvet of her antlers, cradle her head tenderly to his chest so he could feel the beat of his heart.

  
  
_You hold my soul in your hands._

 

* * *

 

  


* * *

 

Their eyes met across the ledge. The abyss yawned in front of them, black and endless and inevitable.

  
  
No words were needed; they knew, they both knew in that instant, and when they jumped, it was together, because there was no other way this could end.

  
  
Wind howled past his ears, ripping at his skin and clothes like greedy hands as icy blackness overtook his vision. Hajime immediately felt the ache clamp down in his chest, his heart seizing, and knew without seeing that their daemons were still standing on the edge.

  
  
They would have spiraled into the dark for an eternity had they all fallen, and he was grateful at least for this mercy, for the way Tooru's peacock curled into his reindeer daemon, for the way they wordlessly embraced each other. He didn't want them to be alone as they returned to the Dust that made them.

  
  
Tears stung his eyes as the particles of his soul began to unravel, the threads fraying faster as they fell down, down. He could see sparks when he closed his eyes, vision bursting into colors like the northern lights. Coming undone hurt like nothing he'd felt before.

  
  
But Tooru was in his arms.

  
  
Tooru, Tooru was here, grasping at him, holding him so tightly, so adamantly, that he knew neither of them would ever let go. Tooru looked wild in those final moments – his teeth bared in reckless laughter, eyes bright with fear and triumph and boundless, dizzying adoration. And Hajime was laughing too, bumping their foreheads together like they were kids again, tumbling into an adventure with the absolute trust that they would always make it out the other end.

  
  
Hajime caught his hands, finally, lacing their fingers together and squeezing them tight. They kissed, clumsy and desperate, and each kiss was a promise to find each other again. Of this, Hajime was certain.

 

He'd always known Tooru was destined for greatness, that he would never settle for less than the entire world, and that Hajime's place was right at his side. It didn't matter if he was jumping into a back alley fight to get a bloody nose as a reward for his trouble, or declaring war on Heaven itself and suffering the wrath of all its angels.

 

He would take this plunge over and over for Tooru. He would put his soul in Tooru's hands every time, without question. In another life, another world, they would be drawn together again – maybe just parts of a new whole, maybe one of his atoms and one of Tooru's atoms bonded and scattered across the universe to make new lives.

 

Always, always, he belonged with Tooru, and Tooru belonged with him.

  
  
_And all of a sudden, I feel invincible._

**Author's Note:**

> [reindeer totem](http://www.spirit-animals.com/reindeer/): abundance, accomplishment, action, adaptability, adversity, connection, cycle of life, decisions, determination, endurance, faith, fortitude, inner peace, perseverance, power, protection, rebirth, resolve, social skills, strength, tenacity, travel, wanderlust 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [peacock totem:](http://www.spirit-animals.com/peacock/) awakening, beauty, compassion, confidence, desire, dignity, endurance, expansiveness, foresight, foundation, generosity, glory, immortality, incorruptibility, karma connections, longevity, love, luxury, nobility, pride, psychic ability, refinement, resurrection, royalty, sensuality, sexuality, sight, sound, spirituality, structure, vision, vitality, watchfulness, wisdom


End file.
